The National Science Foundation is now closed. So is the Environmental Protection Agency. Federal funds for the clean-up of "Superfund Sites" have dried up, as of now. The same can be said for the clean-up of leaking under-ground storage tanks. No more clean-water fund. And Federal grants for scientific research? History! While I'm at it, I might as well close down the National Endowment for the Arts and the National Endowment for the Humanities, as well. Their budgets are "only" a bit more than a hundred million bucks apiece, but I'll take the savings where I can get it.

At first, I was horrified at the fact that I had to close down so much of the US Government, in order to balance the Federal budget. Now, I'm just irritated! I want to launch into a vitriolic rant, lambasting Congress and the last several Presidential Administrations for spending us into the poor-house, as they've done. But ranting won't do any good. Nothing will do any good. What's done is done, and generations of Americans will have to pay the price for our Government's irresponsibility.

The American people just don't realize what kind of horrible financial mess we're in. They've been promised so much for so long, that they just can't believe that the financial foundations of our Republic are crumbling. In real life, I don't know what the outcome will be, but I'm sure it will involve as much wailing and gnashing of teeth as I've exhibited, myself, during this budget-cutting fiasco. In fact, I'm sure that, when reality hits, my own hypothetical agony will be far surpassed by the real agony that lies before us all.

That's $14.0 billion saved, which leaves me with $73.9 billion left to cut. What's next?

The next limb of the Federal Government that I intend to chop off must be the Department of Transportation. For now, I'll leave the Federal Aviation Administration open, so that air traffic controllers can monitor whatever flights that airlines may continue to make, after I've finished cutting the budget. Everything else must go.

The Federal Government is now out of the passenger railroad business. If anyone wants to buy Amtrak, the Federal Government's share is up for sale. If no one wants to buy it, whatever assets Amtrak has left will eventually rot where they stand. It's been a money-losing operation, for years, and the American people can no longer afford to subsidize its existence. The Federal Highway Administration is history. Interstate highways will be given to the States, who can pay for their maintenance, themselves.

By closing down the Department of Transportation, I've just removed the subsidies for ground transportation that have been paid by the Federal Government. The cost of transportation is about to increase, in this country. People's ability to move around will be hampered. Soon, the entire interstate transportation infrastructure will begin to disintegrate, reversing 50-plus years' worth of road construction.

Good-bye, Department of Transportation. By closing you down, I've saved the country $52.9 billion. Hey! There's only $87.9 billion that I still have to cut. What's next?

Some people think that the budget cuts I'm making are draconian and unnecessary. After all, making cuts is only one way of balancing that budget. Raising taxes could achieve the same result. The problem is that, in order to raise taxes enough to plug a $620 billion hole in the budget, every man, woman, and child in the country would have to pay an additional $2,066 over and above what they're paying, right now. A permanent tax increase.

The thing is, who would pay that tax increase? Would the millions of poor and homeless pay it? Can you imagine what would happen to the finances of a family of four, whose annual income is $50,000, if they had to pay an ADDITIONAL $8,200 per year, in taxes? No, the poor won't be paying their per-capita share of that $620 billion. So let's look at the people who are making $100,000. If the poor aren't paying, the people who make $100,000 will have to pay possibly $15,000 to $20,000 or more, for a family of four. That's a 15% to 20% cut in salary, for those people. Think about it. What would you do, if you suddenly had to take a 15% pay cut? Money you'd been counting on, to pay your bills, would suddenly be gone. Suddenly, you'd be under-water, too. No, raising taxes isn't the solution.

Of course, there's the option of simply printing up more money. The United States is lucky, in that it really would be possible to do that. After all, all of our debt is denominated in dollars.

The problem with printing up more money is that doing so would send a flood of cash flowing through the economy, causing prices to rise, for everything. Just as cutting $620 billion out of the economy will cause financial hardship for millions, printing up an additional $620 billion would cause financial hardship for millions. The Government programs that I've been cutting would remain in existence, but the purchasing power that those programs provide would diminish. When it takes a bucket-full of $100-dollar bills to buy a box of copier paper, how much education will a typical student loan be able to buy?

As I see it, there is no way to avoid the suffering that is the result of decades of reckless over-spending. The debts we've been racking up have to be repaid. I will do less damage, by cutting the budget, than I would, if I were to raise taxes or simply print up money. So cut the budget I will.

Today, I'm closing down the Department of Housing and Urban Development. This is the last of the mega-Departments in the civilian side of the Executive Branch. The other Departments and Agencies are much smaller, so the savings that each will provide, when it's closed, will be minimal. That's why almost all of them will have to go.

For today, I'm ending the Federal Housing Administration, together with all of the home loans that it guarantees. Good-bye, housing boom. The loss of that $94.7 billion prop, in the real estate market, will cause housing prices to tumble. Good-bye, Federal rental assistance program. Poor people across the country are going to be thrown out on the street. All of HUD is being shut down.

That's $140 billion saved, $140.8 billion left to cut. What's next?